Post by Marah on Feb 3, 2005 20:49:47 GMT -5
The After Eisner Effect
The series of disturbing events at the Disney Character Development and Enhancement Center in Poland were put to an end shortly after a young lion by the name of Kovu escaped and contacted Alt Tisney Operatives in nearby the nearby AT base in Kiev. Now, 6 months, 2weeks and 4 days after seizing control of Disney’s former “Development†center, Alt Tisney has control over the Pridelands (among other less important lands) and has allowed our Camera man, Darkslash, to film the victims of “Father Mike†for the first time after their rehabilitation.
Darkslash: Hey, there’s Nala! They don’t call her the HTOFL for noth- er…I mean..err…I …
Nala: (walks up to Kiara as she lies on a rock) Kiara, honey?
Kiara: Yes Mommy?
Nala: There’s something important I need to tell you.
Kiara: What is it Mommy?
Nala: You know that your father and I love you but…
Kiara: But what?
Nala: You’ve been exiled. Your father and I decided it would be best if-
Kiara: WHAT!? WHY?
Nala: *smiles*Because we hate you.
Kiara: But you just said that you loved me!
Nala: *says it all cheerful-like*I lied.
Kiara: But you’re my *mother*!
Nala: I know, bleagh, don’t remind me!
Kiara: I don’t believe this! *stands* I’m telling Daddy!
Nala: And what do you think that’ll do?
Disney Alt Tisney Character Development/Enhancement Center
Somewhere in Poland
Darkslash: (walking through a hall, comes to a door marked “DO NOT ENTERâ€) I wonder if there’s a bathroom in here…
Darkslash goes inside and finds a dark room filled with Scientists in white lab coats. In the center of the room sits Simba on a platform with a spotlight shining down on him. He sits rigid, his eyes focused straight ahead. A scientist circles him.
Jen: What have we taught you using potentially harmful mind-altering technology?
Simba: Kiara…Is the enemy…
Back at Pride Rock
Kiara: And I’ll tell Kovu! He and Vitani’ll kick you’re A$$!
Nala: Really? You sure about that?
POLAND
Spotlight shines on a platform behind Simba where Kovu and Vitany sit.
Jen: What are your destinies?
Simba \
Kovu--\ To obey Marah, our saviour, our god. She who freed us from the evil that was Eisner and taught us of
the even greater evil that is Kiara.
Vitani--/
BACK AT PRIDE ROCK
Nala: *smirks evily*
Kiara: What are you smirking at? The Pride loves me! You’ll never get away with this! I’m smart! And pretty! And blonde-furred!
Nala: You got one of those right…
POLAND
Yet another platform rises from behind the first two, a spotlight shines on it revealing the entire pride.
Jen: And what must you all do?
All: WE MUST KILL HER!
Scientists clap/lions roar
Darkslash: (after clapping stops) Does anyone know where I can find a bathroom?!
Jen: What?
Darkslash: BATHROOM!!!! I gotta go! BAD! (camera moves as he bounces up and down)
Jen: Who let him in here?! This is a classified area! Security!!!!
Shatara: (jumps outta nowhere wielding an M82, fires at Darkslash)
Darkslash: HEY! (ducks) You nearly killed me! (Shat prepares to shoot again) The bathroom’s not here is it?
Shatara: *shakes head in a slow and intimidating way*
Darkslash: (slowly backs out of room/closwes door behind him) Well viewers…*gulp* I don’t have to use the bathroom anymore…
BACK AT PRIDEROCK
Nala: Get it through your abnormally small skull already! Nobody likes you! I don’t even like you! And I’m your mother! *Cringes at the last word*
Kiara: But Kovu loves me! I know he does! Regardless of what you say or think!
Nala: (Rolls eyes) Please…
Kiara; And you know what else?
Nala: What?
Kiara: Love will find a way.
Nala: (Bursts into insane laughter)
Kiara: (glares)
Darkslash: I don’t get it…
Nala: I’m sorry! You’re just so-
Kovu: (from behind Kiara) Kiara?
Kiara: (turns around) Kovu! (smiles and nuzzles him) You won’t believe what’s going on! My mom-
Kovu: Kiara, please. We need to talk.
Kiara; About…what?
Kovu: I want a divorce.
Kiara: WHAT?! WHY!?
Kovu: Well I’ve had a lot of time for thought and reflection now that I don’t have to ‘off’ your dad and I’ve come to the realization that you’re…well…Satan’s spawn.
Kiara: Excuse me?!
Kovu: Metaphorically speaking of course-
Kiara: Wha-?
Kovu: You’re making this into such a big deal. Listen! I can’t be with you! Do you have any idea of how much my image has suffered since I started having “fun†with you?
Kiara: But I-
Kovu: That ‘’yee-haw’’ bit alone resulted in a 20 million dolla law suit!
Kiara: Kovu!
Kovu: And you know the worst part? Francesco won’t so much as even LOOK at me anymore!
Kiara&Darkslash: Francesco?
Kovu: I don’t want to talk about it.
Kiara: Good cuz I really don’t want to hear about it. You’re both INSANE! I refuse to take this any longer!
Simba walks up to the group and sits next to Nala
Simba: Then leave. Why make things so hard for yourself?
Kiara: SCREW YOU ALL!!!!! I’m telling Mike and when he-
Simba: (scoffs) Where have you been for the last 6months 2 weeks and 4 days?
Kiara: What?
Simba: We’re not his mindless drones anymore. We’re not your playthings either, so leave before I-
Darkslash: (camera moves up and down as he bounces) I gotta go again….
Kiara: You can never defeat the S.H.E.L.L!
Kovu: Shell?
Nala: Hive and Nest were already copywritten.
Kovu: Ah.
Simba: No one can hope to stand a chance against the mighty P.A.W!
Kiara: Paw? What’s that? Pretty and Witty?
Simba: I…..would have a really good comeback if that wasn’t true.
Nala: Better to be pretty and witty than part of Satan’s Horde of Evil Little Lions!
Kovu: You are kinda on the short side Kiara.
Kiara: (glares and growls)
Kovu: What I’m just sayin’!
Kiara: All of you will suffer…
At that Kiara bursts into flame and disappears leaving nothing but a puff of smoke.
Simba: Those SHELL people. Always with the special exits and entrances.
Darkslash: Uh…..Where’s the bathroom?
Simba: (Looks at camera) Hey? Who are you?
Darkslash: I’m-
Kovu: Francesco! You came back! You DO love me!
Darkslash: What the hell? All I want is the bathroom! What is wrong with you people!
Simba: Are you authorized to be here bathroom boy?
Darkslash: Uh…
Simba: Security!
Darkslash: Uh-oh
The series of disturbing events at the Disney Character Development and Enhancement Center in Poland were put to an end shortly after a young lion by the name of Kovu escaped and contacted Alt Tisney Operatives in nearby the nearby AT base in Kiev. Now, 6 months, 2weeks and 4 days after seizing control of Disney’s former “Development†center, Alt Tisney has control over the Pridelands (among other less important lands) and has allowed our Camera man, Darkslash, to film the victims of “Father Mike†for the first time after their rehabilitation.
Darkslash: Hey, there’s Nala! They don’t call her the HTOFL for noth- er…I mean..err…I …
Nala: (walks up to Kiara as she lies on a rock) Kiara, honey?
Kiara: Yes Mommy?
Nala: There’s something important I need to tell you.
Kiara: What is it Mommy?
Nala: You know that your father and I love you but…
Kiara: But what?
Nala: You’ve been exiled. Your father and I decided it would be best if-
Kiara: WHAT!? WHY?
Nala: *smiles*Because we hate you.
Kiara: But you just said that you loved me!
Nala: *says it all cheerful-like*I lied.
Kiara: But you’re my *mother*!
Nala: I know, bleagh, don’t remind me!
Kiara: I don’t believe this! *stands* I’m telling Daddy!
Nala: And what do you think that’ll do?
Disney Alt Tisney Character Development/Enhancement Center
Somewhere in Poland
Darkslash: (walking through a hall, comes to a door marked “DO NOT ENTERâ€) I wonder if there’s a bathroom in here…
Darkslash goes inside and finds a dark room filled with Scientists in white lab coats. In the center of the room sits Simba on a platform with a spotlight shining down on him. He sits rigid, his eyes focused straight ahead. A scientist circles him.
Jen: What have we taught you using potentially harmful mind-altering technology?
Simba: Kiara…Is the enemy…
Back at Pride Rock
Kiara: And I’ll tell Kovu! He and Vitani’ll kick you’re A$$!
Nala: Really? You sure about that?
POLAND
Spotlight shines on a platform behind Simba where Kovu and Vitany sit.
Jen: What are your destinies?
Simba \
Kovu--\ To obey Marah, our saviour, our god. She who freed us from the evil that was Eisner and taught us of
the even greater evil that is Kiara.
Vitani--/
BACK AT PRIDE ROCK
Nala: *smirks evily*
Kiara: What are you smirking at? The Pride loves me! You’ll never get away with this! I’m smart! And pretty! And blonde-furred!
Nala: You got one of those right…
POLAND
Yet another platform rises from behind the first two, a spotlight shines on it revealing the entire pride.
Jen: And what must you all do?
All: WE MUST KILL HER!
Scientists clap/lions roar
Darkslash: (after clapping stops) Does anyone know where I can find a bathroom?!
Jen: What?
Darkslash: BATHROOM!!!! I gotta go! BAD! (camera moves as he bounces up and down)
Jen: Who let him in here?! This is a classified area! Security!!!!
Shatara: (jumps outta nowhere wielding an M82, fires at Darkslash)
Darkslash: HEY! (ducks) You nearly killed me! (Shat prepares to shoot again) The bathroom’s not here is it?
Shatara: *shakes head in a slow and intimidating way*
Darkslash: (slowly backs out of room/closwes door behind him) Well viewers…*gulp* I don’t have to use the bathroom anymore…
BACK AT PRIDEROCK
Nala: Get it through your abnormally small skull already! Nobody likes you! I don’t even like you! And I’m your mother! *Cringes at the last word*
Kiara: But Kovu loves me! I know he does! Regardless of what you say or think!
Nala: (Rolls eyes) Please…
Kiara; And you know what else?
Nala: What?
Kiara: Love will find a way.
Nala: (Bursts into insane laughter)
Kiara: (glares)
Darkslash: I don’t get it…
Nala: I’m sorry! You’re just so-
Kovu: (from behind Kiara) Kiara?
Kiara: (turns around) Kovu! (smiles and nuzzles him) You won’t believe what’s going on! My mom-
Kovu: Kiara, please. We need to talk.
Kiara; About…what?
Kovu: I want a divorce.
Kiara: WHAT?! WHY!?
Kovu: Well I’ve had a lot of time for thought and reflection now that I don’t have to ‘off’ your dad and I’ve come to the realization that you’re…well…Satan’s spawn.
Kiara: Excuse me?!
Kovu: Metaphorically speaking of course-
Kiara: Wha-?
Kovu: You’re making this into such a big deal. Listen! I can’t be with you! Do you have any idea of how much my image has suffered since I started having “fun†with you?
Kiara: But I-
Kovu: That ‘’yee-haw’’ bit alone resulted in a 20 million dolla law suit!
Kiara: Kovu!
Kovu: And you know the worst part? Francesco won’t so much as even LOOK at me anymore!
Kiara&Darkslash: Francesco?
Kovu: I don’t want to talk about it.
Kiara: Good cuz I really don’t want to hear about it. You’re both INSANE! I refuse to take this any longer!
Simba walks up to the group and sits next to Nala
Simba: Then leave. Why make things so hard for yourself?
Kiara: SCREW YOU ALL!!!!! I’m telling Mike and when he-
Simba: (scoffs) Where have you been for the last 6months 2 weeks and 4 days?
Kiara: What?
Simba: We’re not his mindless drones anymore. We’re not your playthings either, so leave before I-
Darkslash: (camera moves up and down as he bounces) I gotta go again….
Kiara: You can never defeat the S.H.E.L.L!
Kovu: Shell?
Nala: Hive and Nest were already copywritten.
Kovu: Ah.
Simba: No one can hope to stand a chance against the mighty P.A.W!
Kiara: Paw? What’s that? Pretty and Witty?
Simba: I…..would have a really good comeback if that wasn’t true.
Nala: Better to be pretty and witty than part of Satan’s Horde of Evil Little Lions!
Kovu: You are kinda on the short side Kiara.
Kiara: (glares and growls)
Kovu: What I’m just sayin’!
Kiara: All of you will suffer…
At that Kiara bursts into flame and disappears leaving nothing but a puff of smoke.
Simba: Those SHELL people. Always with the special exits and entrances.
Darkslash: Uh…..Where’s the bathroom?
Simba: (Looks at camera) Hey? Who are you?
Darkslash: I’m-
Kovu: Francesco! You came back! You DO love me!
Darkslash: What the hell? All I want is the bathroom! What is wrong with you people!
Simba: Are you authorized to be here bathroom boy?
Darkslash: Uh…
Simba: Security!
Darkslash: Uh-oh
...We look very intimidating...
You shot at ME! "stuff" is that all I am.... GRRRR! 
Interesting story, but poor Kiara 
... Well written though 
!